My Love-Hate Relationship with Church Traditions

I enjoy visiting churches that still practice the old traditions from the reformation era. There's something comforting about pews, pipe organs, old hymns sung from hymnals, stained glass windows, and ministers decked out in clerical robes. These traditions are wonderful and I'm glad that they still exist in some

I love the sound of a pipe organ in the morning.

churches.

But as much as I love the old traditions, the fact remains that they are only traditions created by human beings. They aren't written in stone like the Ten Commandments. In fact--except for the music--the above-mentioned practices aren't even in the Bible. True, the Old Testament priests were decked out in special garb, but nowhere in the New Testament are elders and pastors told to dress differently than anyone else.

On the other hand, the New Testament doesn't say these traditions are wrong. As far as I'm concerned, if there's no biblical command against a practice, then why not do it? I do think there's a danger of elevating the practice above the actual worship of the living God. So, the tradition should be recognized as a tool used for the true worship of the Creator.

There are few specifics in the Bible about the organizational structure of the church fellowship. Even our supposed "nontraditional" contemporary churches follow a traditional format of music, prayer, announcements and sermon. Often, the sermon is followed by more music.

Where in the Bible does it say we are to follow that format? Some things are clear in the New Testament. We know that Christians are told to gather for fellowship: " not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some," (Heb. 10:25). Also, we should avoid chaos in the fellowship: "But all things should be done decently and in order." (1 Cor. 14:40). That being said, it seems to me there's room for significant variety in church structures, preferences and styles.

Music is Bible based. We are to sing: "...addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart." (Eph. 5:19). Jesus and the disciples sang a hymn together at the end of the last supper: "And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." (Matt. 26:30). The Psalms were songs, often directed "to the choirmaster." Singers and musicians were a part of the temple ceremonies: "Your procession is seen, O God, the procession of my God, my King, into the sanctuary—the singers in front, the musicians last, between them virgins playing tambourines." (Psalm 68:24-25).

Every believer should practice a spiritual gift to edify the the fellowship of believers: "To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good." (1 Cor. 12:7). It seems to me that church is too much of a spectator sport, where the congregation sits, sings a few songs, listens to a sermon, and heads home. Each person should discover their spiritual gift(s), so they can serve in a Spirit empowered way. I'm open to suggestions here.

There is leadership in the church, such as elders and deacons. Elder means the same thing as pastor. This implies that our tradition of a "lead" pastor may be overemphasized. How is the lead pastor any different than the other elders? You tell me. Preachers and teachers are also mentioned in the New Testament. We should always remind ourselves that leadership under the new covenant is actually "servant leadership." Remember when Jesus humbled Himself and washed his disciples' feet? Jesus was the perfect example of true leadership.

Then there's prayer, which is greatly emphasized in the Old and New Testaments. It should always play a large part of any church fellowship. 1 Thes. 5:16-18, 25 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." And verse 25, "Brothers, pray for us."

I think every Christian should occasionally pause and ask him/herself, "Am I emotionally dependent on a tradition, mistaking it for God's truth? What aspects of my church experience are truly biblical." I'm not saying it's wrong to enjoy the aesthetic aspects of the stain glass windows or lofty pipe organ, or even the hip and trendy style of contemporary worship. We just need to recognize the difference between human emotional pleasure and true spiritual worship of almighty God. Sure, God wants us to enjoy our humanity with it's capacity to appreciate art, music, etc. But remember these things are not true worship. If they are not used as tools for personally worshiping God, then they can end up being empty human traditions. Blessings.

Dealing with Christian Hypocrisy, Part Two

Christian hypocrisy probably makes the top five of the biggest challenges to my faith. I've always struggled with the lack of maturity in certain Christians, primarily those in leadership positions, such as elders or pastors. I'm not even talking about major mishaps on their part. The fruit of the Spirit just seems to be lacking in the lives of some Christian leaders and that hurts me. However, it doesn't hurt me as much as it used to.

Jesus talks to the pharisees

In this blog post, I'm not going to deal with the big failures in church history, such as the Crusades, Inquisition, religious wars between protestants and Catholics, the antisemitism of Martin Luther (the 16th century reformer, not MLK Junior!), etc. Even lately in the news we've heard about more sex abuse in the Catholic church, not to mention the scandal in a certain protestant mega church where most of the staff resigned in shame because they turned a blind eye to the lead pastor's sins.

Anyway, these big hypocrisies don't really test my faith much. They are huge failures in Christian history and I understand that it's a major reason that many people dismiss Christianity and refuse to come to faith. I'm baffled and I don't have a good excuse for these blunders. I don't have a nice, tight apologetic defense when it comes to the big failures of the church. I've read a few books on Christian apologetics and I've never read a great explanation for why Christians screw up--other than the fact that we all are cursed with a sin nature. All I can do is say I'm sorry for the evil that has been done in the name of Christ and I can pray that I personally will behave better.

I can also ask God to show me how I, Tom Nash, can respond to hypocrisy. First of all, God doesn't want me to turn from Him because of the failures of others. Rather, He wants me to turn to Him and seek a close walk with Him. Part of that walk may involve forgiving the hypocrites. Yes, it's Christianity 101 for me to forgive anyone who has hurt me. Also, God wants me to pray for my enemies and even those who annoy me a little bit.

Somehow, I'm able to separate my own faith from the big failures of the church. Perhaps it's because saving faith and sustaining faith are a gift from God. The Holy Spirit instills faith in our hearts and will sustain us during the worst trials. Faith is supernatural.

I'm more bothered by those leaders in my neck of the woods who don't quite rise to my expectations. Before I criticize them too much, I have to admit that I tend to fall short of producing much fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). Also, it's important to mention that there are many Christian leaders who are quite spiritually mature. Some Christians are less hypocritical than others. All of us are hypocrites to some degree or another.

I'm not a hypocrite because I sin. I'm a hypocrite when I try to make myself look better than I really am. A really bad type of hypocrisy is when I expect someone to possess a character trait that I don't possess. Do I practice what I preach? Do I expect people to remove specks from their eyes when I've got a log in my eye? I hope these blog posts don't come across as pushing some unreachable standard that only Jesus can attain.

When a person accepts Christ, God accepts them the way they are. All believers are under construction. If a Christian is a house, then some are just beginning to have their foundation built. Others are in the framing stage. Others are getting the fine touches of finish work. None of us will be complete until we get to heaven.

Another thing to consider is the fact that each Christian has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. The big temptation in my life is different than the big temptation in your life. It's another reason we should be very hesitant when judging someone else.

God exists. He is loving and all-powerful. He wants a close relationship with you. This is true whether Christians behave or misbehave. Blessings.

 

All Christians are Jewish

This blog entry is not part two of the series on hypocrisy. That'll happen later. Today's writing is inspired by my scripture readings from Jeremiah and Galatians. Also, I'm in a small group of men (life group) from my church where we discuss sections of scripture from the shared 2-year Bible reading plan. I'm knocking off two birds with one stone by writing this blog post. This doubles as a blog entry and preparation for the small group. Hope you're blessed by all the Bible references.

The Prophet Jeremiah

There's a wonderful prophecy in Jeremiah 31:31-34, "31 Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, 32 not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. 33 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34 And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”

This is certainly a messianic prophecy about the the new covenant that would be established when Jesus came to Earth, died for our sins, rose again and sent the Holy Spirit to seal the deal in our hearts. There is a problematic aspect of the prophecy in verses 31 and 33. The new covenant seems to apply only to Israel and Judah. Gentiles aren't mentioned.

Ah, but Gentiles are included. This prophecy is repeated in the New Testament, in Hebrews 8:8-12. The Hebrews author precedes the prophecy by writing, "6 But as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises. 7 For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for a second."

So, from Hebrews we see that Jeremiah's prophecy of the new covenant refers to Christ as the mediator of that covenant. So how does this apply to Gentiles? And how can Gentile Christians be Jewish? Read on.

In Galatians 3, we see how Gentile Christians, because of their identity in Christ, have become adopted children of Abraham. "7 Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham. 8 And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, “In you shall all the nations be blessed.” 9 So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith." (Galatians 3:7-9 ESV).

Then, in Galatians 3:16, "Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, “And to offsprings,” referring to many, but referring to one, “And to your offspring,” who is Christ."

And in Galatians 3:26-29, "26 for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.29 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise."

So here's the progression: Jesus was a Jew and a biological descendant of Abraham. All Christians are one in Christ. Those who are Christ's are Abraham's offspring. Gentiles are Abraham's offspring through Christ.

So, Gentile Christians are Abraham's offspring (therefore Jewish) in a spiritual sort of way. Let's look at Romans 11:17, "But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree,"

In this passage, the olive tree represents the blessings and promises inherent to belonging to the nation of Israel. The broken branches are those Jews who have rejected the Messiah. The grafted wild olive shoots are Gentiles who have accepted the Messiah. So, Gentile Christians are grafted into the blessings of Israel.

Here's the clincher for my argument that all Christians are Jewish. Romans 2:28-29 (ESV) says, "28 For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. 29 But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God."

Douglas Moo is one of the best evangelical scholars on Paul's epistle to the Romans. Moo writes the following about Romans 2:28-29, "...here for the first time in the chapter also hints that it is the Christian, circumcised in the heart by God's Spirit, who is the 'true' Jew (v.29)." Later, Moo writes, "But Paul goes beyond any first-century Jewish viewpoint in suggesting that physical circumcision is no longer required and in implicitly applying the term 'Jew' to those who were not ethnically Jews."

There you go. All Christians are "true Jews" because their hearts have been circumcised by the Holy Spirit. Blessings.

Dealing with Christian Hypocrisy, Part One

In this blog post I'm going to argue that it's a virtue to be somewhat hypocritical. Later in this series, I'll write about the ugly types of hypocrisy and how, as a Christian, I'm to deal with it. Webster's defines hypocrisy as, "the professing of publicly approved qualities, beliefs, or feelings that one does not really possess." At the

outset I'd like to accuse every human being (except Jesus) throughout history as being a hypocrite. All of us, to some degree, have tried to make ourselves appear better than we really are. Certainly my posts on social media reflect a better me than actually exists.

So here's my argument for a good type of hypocrisy. We should aspire to be better than we are, and we should take concrete steps to "put on" our better self. Part of maturity is recognizing flaws in my character and then doing my part in overcoming those flaws. As a Christian, I know that true change happens inside my heart through the power of the Holy Spirit. Typically, the Spirit transforms us by first showing us our flaws and sins. We are to respond to this "conviction" by being honest with God and confessing these flaws and sins to Him. Not only does this create a more honest and open relationship with Him, but it gives God the go ahead to change us. Of course, change is often painfully slow.

Let's look at a hypothetical guy named Joe. He's a recovering anger addict. In the past, Joe has had many verbal outbursts and owns a permanently flat nose thanks to many fisticuffs and bar fights. The good news is that since he's been a Christian, God has taken away much of the anger. However, some of the anger is still there and Joe occasionally has intense desires to cold cock rude people. He's managed to resist that temptation and has even stopped cussing people out. Joe has taken steps to "put on" his new self even when the old temptations flair up. Similar to the Webster definition of hypocrisy, Joe is professing "publicly approved qualities, beliefs, or feelings" that he doesn't completely possess. And slowly but surely he's possessing from the heart the positive qualities that are the antithesis to anger.

There's a saying that goes something like this: "Lead with the body to open the heart to the Spirit." This means that we should take steps to embrace a mature character trait that we may not yet possess. God rewards this outward step of faith by making it an inward reality in our hearts.

So, in a way, Christians are appropriately being something they are not, believing that God will eventually make their aspiration a reality in their heart. If there were such a thing as good hypocrisy, this is it.

Future posts will deal with ugly hypocrisy, and why I'm still a Christian despite the failures of Christians throughout history. Blessings.

Dad's Easter, Cambodia, God's Presence, Romans

How was your Easter? Ours started out pretty good. Dad joined Denise and I for a great Easter service at Eugene First Church of the Nazarene. Okay, let's pause for a second. Not that I'm a staunch Calvinist, but I've leaned in that direction for several years now. So what am I doing attending an Arminian/Wesleyan church? Well, let's just call it a leap of faith.

We've been fellowshipping with those "noisy Nazarenes" (as Dad calls them) for about five months -- and so far so good. They emphasize lively worship and the work of the Holy Spirit. Frankly, for

Mary Haag: OMF missionary in Cambodia

several years I've minimized the "experiential" aspects of the Holy Spirit in my life. My focus has been learning about God through my mind and not so much with the heart. Not that the mind is bad. God definitely wants us to use our minds when we study scripture and theology. But there's a whole other side of the Christian coin, and that's what I'm investigating.

After church we had a nice Easter dinner and then Dad fell and broke his left hip. In the old days, hip fractures were a death sentence for elderly folks. Not so much anymore. The next day, the docs put a titanium ball in Dad's 87-year-old hip joint and now he's recovering at the Marquis in Springfield. He's motivated, has lots of energy and should heal up fine. Please pray for him, that he'll do what the doctors and nurses say. We don't want any more falls.

On Wednesday, Mary Haag had dinner with Denise and me at our home. Afterwards, she gave a slide presentation to a small group about her work in Cambodia. But first let me talk about the dinner. Mary is an "experiential" Christian, who freely talks about her intimate relationship with God. As the three of us ate salmon, she described a coastal retreat she recently attended. It was a silent time where the participants mostly kept their mouths shut and listened to God. So I asked Mary if she frequently felt God's presence. She paused and probed me with her eyes. Keep in mind, she's a psychological counselor and likely sensed I

My dad, Ray Nash

was up to something.

She basically answered yes, with explanations, including an illustration about the difference between floating and swimming. She wrote in a followup email, "The floating/swimming picture is helpful in picturing the walk with Him, and how am I living my life right now? Am I swimming, in that I am striving on my own? Having willfulness to make my own way, do it my way? This awareness enables me to learn to let go and float…letting go the striving to surrender into His plans, His hands. Yes, this is communing with Him, but more like resting."

What about experiencing His presence? "I've done solitude (having time daily alone with Him) for years, but learning how to add silence, time with Him, and listening to Him has moved me into a more intimate relationship with Him. It's a relationship, back and forth, not just me thinking of Him or knowing about Him."

Mary continues her work in Cambodia, a country with a tragic history of war and genocide. She counsels the traumatized and teaches native Cambodians to be counselors. Please pray for Mary Haag and consider supporting her. Contact OMF International: www.omf.org/us.

Mary was a guest speaker for what normally would have been a Romans Bible study. We're a tiny group of five and have room for a few more people. The Romans study involves discussion, but for those who prefer just listening, that's fine. For more info on this fellowship, see www.homegroupleaburg.blogspot.com. Why not pray and ask God if this group is for you? But after you ask, be silent and listen.

Blessings,
Tom

Groovin' on the Gospel: Romans 1:1-17

Other than reading the newspaper, listening to the PBS News Hour, and watching the big flat screen at night, my recent focus of study has been the apostle Paul's epistle to the Romans, especially chapter one. Denise and I recently started a discussion group that focuses on the Romans epistle. I was bit nervous while facilitating the first meeting, but had a good time listening as each person shared their thoughts on Romans, faith, and life on this planet. We have room for a few more people, so if it sounds like something you might be interested in, feel free to contact me on FB Messenger or by phone (we're listed in the phone book).

Young Martin Luther as an Augustinian Monk

I'll postpone the Doing Church memoir series and instead write about my thoughts and impressions on Romans. In a way, it was rather nervy of me to take on a discussion of such a weighty epistle. I've heard that ordained ministers can be apprehensive about teaching Paul's masterpiece. It contains some complex and controversial passages. So who am I, a mere layman, to think I could do justice to this work? Well, actually, I can't do justice to it.

I've noticed from reading a few commentaries, that conservative evangelical scholars differ in their interpretations of several sections of the letter. Fortunately, these differences concern minor points of doctrine. I'll often refer to these experts. They really are quite good, so you won't get much original thought out of me.

Who was this apostle Paul (also called Saul) who wrote Romans? Prior to becoming a Christian, he was an up-and-coming pharisee, a Jewish religious leader and expert in the Law of Moses. He also persecuted Christians, arresting them and giving his blessing to their executions. Then, as he traveled north to capture Christians in Damascus, Paul supernaturally encountered Jesus Himself, who said, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Paul was literally blinded by the light and experienced a dramatic conversion. Then, after a few years of spiritual growth, he became a great leader of the early church and wrote most of the New Testament. Tradition has it that he was martyred in Rome.

When he wrote the epistle to the Romans,  from Corinth in about 57AD, Paul likely had in mind a largely Gentile (non-Jewish) Christian audience, though some Jewish Christians in Rome would also have read the letter. A sub-theme of Romans has to do with the place of Jews and Gentiles in the Christian church. There was likely division between these two camps, the Gentiles coming from a pantheistic, lawless background -- and the Jewish Christians coming out of a religion that placed great emphasis on strict rules and the Law of Moses. So, Paul wanted to reconcile these two groups by explaining such things as the purpose of the Law and how "justification by faith" was something that also existed in the Old Covenant.

At this point, you may want to get out a Bible and turn to Romans 1.

What is the main theme of Romans? Paul mentions the word “gospel” (from Greek euangelion, which means "good news") and the pronoun “it” (referring to the gospel) in verses 1, 9, 15, 16 and 17. How does he describe the gospel in these passages? I see the following:

• The gospel is of and from God (v. 1)
• It was promised through the prophets of the Old Testament (v. 2)
• It concerns and is about Jesus (v. 3, 4 and 9)
• Descended from David
• Declared Son of God in power
• Jesus Christ our Lord
• It is preached (v. 15)
• The gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes (v. 16)
• In the gospel, “… a righteousness of God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”

Scholar Douglas Moo concludes that, while the theme of Romans is the gospel,  Jesus is the heart of the gospel. Says Moo, “Paul shares with his Roman audience the conviction that Jesus is the heart of the gospel. He is the promised Messiah of Israel (“seed of David”), the Son of God, the Lord.”

Verses 16-17 form the thesis statement of Romans:

"16For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 17For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, 'The righteous shall live by faith.'"

Notice the terms righteous and righteousness  in verse 17. These words appear over and over in the epistle. They are closely related to the words justify and justification, which also appear frequently in Romans. In the original Greek, all four words begin with the same root: dikai-.

Righteousness can be interpreted in a number of different ways. Verse 17 is a prime example. In the early 16th century, a reinterpretation of this passage ignited the protestant Reformation. The following quote is from the great reformer Martin Luther, as he recollects his conversion from a guilt-ridden Augustinian monk into a joyous born-again Christian:

“I had indeed been captivated with an extraordinary ardor for understanding Paul in the Epistle to the Romans. But up till then it was not the cold blood about the heart, but a single word in Chapter 1[:17], “In it the righteousness of God is revealed,” that had stood in my way. For I hated that word “righteousness of God,” which, according to the use and custom of all the teachers, I had been taught to understand philosophically regarding the formal or active righteousness, as they called it, with which God is righteous and punishes the unrighteous sinner. Though I lived as a monk without reproach, I felt that I was a sinner before God with an extremely disturbed conscience. I could not believe that he was placated by my satisfaction. I did not love, yes, I hated the righteous God who punishes sinners, and secretly, if not blasphemously, certainly murmuring greatly, I was angry with God, and said, “As if, indeed, it is not enough, that miserable sinners, eternally lost through original sin, are crushed by every kind of calamity by the law of the Decalogue, without having God add pain to pain by the gospel and also by the gospel threatening us with his righteousness and wrath!” Thus I raged with a fierce and troubled conscience. Nevertheless, I beat importunately upon Paul at that place, most ardently desiring to know what St. Paul wanted."  (Luther's Works, Volume 34, P336-337).

Luther continues, “At last, by the mercy of God, meditating day and night, I gave heed to the context of the words, namely, [Romans 1:17] “In it the righteousness of God is revealed, as it is written, ‘He who through faith is righteous shall live.’” There I began to understand that the righteousness of God is that by which the righteous lives by a gift of God, namely by faith. And this is the meaning: the righteousness of God is revealed by the gospel, namely, the passive righteousness with which merciful God justifies us by faith, as it is written, “He who through faith is righteous shall live.” Here I felt that I was altogether born again and had entered paradise itself through open gates. There a totally other face of the entire Scripture showed itself to me.”  (Luther's Works, Volume 34, P336-337).

Don't you love ironies? Prior to his conversion, Luther interpreted God's righteousness as His judicial action of judgement against sinners. I don't want to sound contradictory, but there is truth to the idea that God righteously judges sin. God is perfectly righteous and His actions are righteous. However, Luther saw the light when he realized that God's righteousness is also something that can be imputed to a sinner as a gift, through faith.

Later in Romans, we will see that this gift of righteousness came at a great price -- the death of Jesus on the cross.

Doing Church: Teenage Years

Being painfully shy has its benefits. As a teenager, my social anxiety and introverted personality kept me out of a lot of trouble. I certainly wanted to do more bad things than I did, but fear restrained me. This means that my heart was far worse than my external behavior. That being said, I still participated in a moderate amount of visible badness. Such are the teenage years.

Patti, Mom, Pam, Jan, Cyrus, Tom  (June 18, 1973)

If it's common knowledge that the three U.S. presidents preceding Trump were known to have smoked pot in their youth, then why is it I'm so reluctant to publicly admit my indiscretions in that particular area? Hey, it was the seventies. My experimentation reached a peak in the eighth grade (1973-74). Some kids were getting high on a daily basis; a few stayed stoned all waking hours. For me, it was about once or twice a week for about a year. I'd have smoked it more, but had no connections (suppliers) outside of school. So I toked up with classmates when offered.

This is a milestone -- my first public confession of having smoked marijuana in my youth. Oh my. There goes any hopes for a successful career. Not all is lost, however. The U.S. presidency remains a viable option.

In a 2015 article by the American Psychological Association, Susan Weiss, PhD. said, "But there's a growing literature, and it's all pointing in the same direction: starting young and using frequently may disrupt brain development." So, just because cannabis is now legal in many states, doesn't make it safe.

I've experienced brain fog and a below-average memory all of my adult life. The only thing I can attribute this to is smoking marijuana as a teenager.

Here's Tommy! End of innocence for this 8th grader.  (Fall 1973)

Fortunately, my mother discovered a stash tucked in the back of my nightstand drawer. When I got home from school, Dad gave me an incredibly harsh chewing out. I lost privileges (TV, etc.) for a few months, along with the promise of worse repercussions if I were ever to be found using pot again.

I quit for about a year and rarely used pot the remainder of my teenage years. At that time I became a track and cross country fanatic. Distance running provided a motivation not to smoke dope. The evil weed is bad for the lungs and track runners need healthy cardiovascular systems. So alcohol became my drug of choice.

Back then, we started high school in the tenth grade. Sports kept me busy and mostly out of trouble, though I aimed to get drunk most weekends. This was my life for much of my sophomore year.

That spring (1976), someone invited me to a Young Life All-Area Club meeting. "Sure. Why not?" I may have said. It took place on a Friday or Saturday night in a large auditorium. High school kids from Young Life clubs all around the Eugene-Springfield area filled the place. There was a lot of energy, singing and good vibes. Then a fellow stood at the podium and spoke. The precise content of his message slips my mind, but he was clearly encouraging teens to accept Christ as Savior and Lord. I didn't turn to the Lord at the meeting, but the event impacted me deeply. I knew what I'd heard was true and that I needed to change.

When I arrived home that night, I entered my bedroom and prayed sincerely for God to enter my heart, save me and do something with my life.

That Monday at lunch, I sat next to a senior, Duane Swafford, who I knew was a Christian. I told him what happened at the Young Life meeting and how I prayed that night in my room. I asked Duane if there was something else I needed to do to become a Christian. He responded with a big smile, saying something like, "Praise God, Tom! You're saved! You've already said the right prayer!"

Though technically I had rededicated my life to Christ that night, I treated it as a first-time conversion. The weekend beer binges ceased and I plugged into the Thurston High School Young Life events. Besides the upbeat, weekly meetings, there were coastal outings, Bible studies, camps, etc.. The leader, Ron Sauer, became a significant, positive influence in my life. We hung out a lot, usually on long runs. He often worked out with the Thurston distance runners. Ron impacts me to this very day.

One particular Young Life small-group meeting stands out. It likely took place within a month of my rededication. The group had finished watching a Christian video and then began praying. I distinctly felt God's presence in the room. Others must have felt Him too, because some kids were weeping -- as in tears of joy. This was significant, because, prior to that, I had never experienced God in such a personal, intimate way. He was real and He loved me.

My first airplane flight -- piloted by Fred Brandenfels.  (August 12, 1976)

This experience, along with an overall spiritual well-being, marked my life during those first few months. I think this was the "witness of the Spirit" indicated in Romans 8:16-17, "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs -- heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him."

It's interesting how that verse begins with a lofty spiritual peak and transitions to a low point -- suffering. After a few months, my spiritual high ended and I began to experience doubts, along with spiritual dryness. It felt as if God wasn't with me anymore. At the time, I didn't realize this shift from high to low was a common experience for young believers. In his lecture series, Spiritual Formation, Dr. John Coe analyses this phenomenon, mentioning how Christian thinkers ranging from St. Augustine (4th-5th century) to St. John of the Cross (16th century) wrote about these highs and lows. St. John of the Cross likens the new believer's spiritual high as an infant who derives pleasure and satisfaction from its mother because of her caresses, nursing and loving care. The infant becomes deeply attached to (loves) its mother because of the pleasure the mother gives him/her. This corresponds to a baby Christian loving God for pleasure's sake. God grants feelings of spiritual pleasure because this is what the new convert needs...for awhile.

The "dark night of the soul" soon arrives for the young Christian. The feeling of God's presence goes away. In fact, all spiritual pleasure vanishes. Worse yet, the pleasure is replaced by negative emotions and thoughts that flood the soul. This may involve demonic attack, where doubts about the faith bombard the mind. Eventually, the dark night goes away, replaced by more natural, down-to-earth feelings.

According to St. John of the Cross, God allows the dark night to occur so the infant will grow up. If the spiritual high continued forever, the Christian would remain selfish, only loving God for pleasure's sake. The ultimate goal, which takes a lifetime, is to love God for God's sake. The mature saint loves God for who He is, not for the pleasures and benefits received from Him. I'm definitely not there yet!

Dr. John Coe mentions the Jesus People movement of the 1960's and 70's. Many of these young people came out of a culture of drugs, sex and hedonism. They understood pleasure. Spiritual highs (from God, not drugs), were common to hippie converts. God knew they were babies developmentally, so He met them where they were at. When the inevitable dark nights came, some people grew up and others fell away.

C.S. Lewis, in The Screwtape Letters, focuses on a young Christian who is being targeted by a demon named Wormwood. Wormwood is mentored by an experienced demon named Screwtape. In a letter to Wormwood, Screwtape explains that the Enemy (God) will soon allow the young man to undergo a "disappointment or anticlimax" in his new faith. Screwtape describes this as follows:

 "Desiring their [new Christians] freedom, He [God] therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves them to 'do it on their own.' And there lies our opportunity. But also, remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."

Remember, the above quote is from a demon who understands, and attempts to thwart, many of God's strategies. Screwtape is describing a crisis of faith common to young believers. This is a huge spiritual battle, a matter of life or death to the soul. If Christians pass the test, they grow. If they fail the test, they may reject Christ and fall into the clutches of a demon. I survived the initial doubts and dark nights of my soul, and continued to plug away at the faith.

So what about church? As a high school sophomore, I had no connection with any local churches, and had long ago rejected Presbyterianism. Young Life filled the gap perfectly. Young Life is considered a parachurch organization. They aren't under the umbrella of any particular denomination, but try to work with local churches, gently encouraging kids to plug into some kind of larger fellowship that involves all age groups. For those who criticize Young Life for "stealing" kids from local churches, I respectfully and fervently disagree. Not only does Young Life fill an (otherwise) unmet need, but it provides a great way for kids of differing denominations to fellowship with each other. I highly endorse Young Life as a supplement to local churches.

It seemed right that I look for a "real" church that met on Sunday mornings. My parents still attended the Walterville Presbyterian church, and I reluctantly accompanied them on rare occasions. Ron Sauer attended the Eugene Faith Center, a Four Square church pastored by the late Roy Hicks. I asked Ron if I could tag along sometime. He obliged and so began my on-again, off-again journey with this vibrant church that practiced the supernatural gifts of the Holy Spirit -- which included speaking in tongues. Faith Center didn't overemphasize tongues and gifts, but I sure found the whole charismatic phenomenon interesting and exciting.

I'll backtrack a bit to my sophomore track season. As a newly-committed Christian, my faith was strong. I was even somewhat zealous, witnessing to a few classmates and even wearing a t-shirt with a bold message printed on the back that read: I RUN FOR CHRIST. I'd wear this t-shirt over my singlet at track meets while warming up, peeling it off just before the start of races. However, I felt really self conscious wearing it. An internal dilemma emerged. Was I really running for Christ or running for my own glory? Looking back, I was likely motivated by both. However, as a high school kid, I couldn't reconcile these competing aims. I may have stopped wearing the shirt before the end of the track season.

The whole topic of motivations is complicated and I could write several blog posts about it. Suffice it to say, we are a mixed bag, full of both noble and ignoble purposes. The good news is that God offers complete forgiveness for all our selfish motivations, whether obvious or subtle. I don't think I understood this back then. I experienced a lot of guilt feelings over my selfish motivations and other sins.

Is Coach DeWayne Cantrell trying to smile? The Thurston High School cross country team celebrates
 after running well at the district meet. We qualified for the state championships!  (November 1, 1977)

My faith remained strong until about the spring of my junior year, when I began to backslide. Weekend beer binges resumed, along with occasional pot smoking. My language became foul, especially in the locker room. It's hard for me to pinpoint just why I fell away. Certainly my relationship with God had become weak from neglecting daily prayer and Bible reading. I don't recall practicing any kind of consistent quiet time with God. Spiritual disciplines (even the easy ones) were foreign to me. That leaves one vulnerable to temptations and demonic attack.

By the start of my senior year of high school, I wanted nothing to do with God, Christianity or healthy Christians. Weak Christians were okay to hang out with.

I'll end this blog post on a positive note: for over twenty years I've been strong in my relationship with Jesus and I'm certain God will sustain me the rest of my earthly life and throughout eternity. Happy New Year!