Personal Relationship with Jesus? Huh? What?

I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I really do. As far as I know, the specific term "personal relationship" isn't in the Bible and I suspect its meaning differs from one Christian to another. All I can do is explain what it means to me and try to shed scriptural light on it.

Like my namesake, Thomas, I sometimes doubt

Let's start with what my relationship with God isn't. First, I don't physically see Jesus or hear His voice with my ears. In 1980, I underwent a period of revival when I experienced, a few times, the supernatural presence of God. I didn't see or hear Him physically, but sensed His presence, intense love and overwhelming peace. This period of my Christian walk had a lot of spiritual highs, along with some intense lows. The Biblical basis for this is in Romans 8:16-17: " The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs -- heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him."

Although the peak experiences in 1980 significantly impacted me, my current day-to-day walk with God is much more mundane. In my daily quiet times, I typically feel a very subtle peace or stillness. But this is hardly dramatic and I wouldn't describe it as a supernatural feeling. My relationship with Christ, then, is based on faith, not sight or ecstatic feeling. I believe He is with me because the Bible says so. "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Mat. 28:20).

My relationship with the Lord involves conversation. I talk to God through prayer. He talks to me primarily through Scripture. Sure, the Holy Spirit sometimes whispers to my heart and mind (via the very still, small voice), but by and large, the Lord speaks to me through Bible reading. He also speaks through fellow Christians, whether pastors, teachers or everyday lay people.

My relationship with God is unequal -- in a big way. He is the perfect Father, all-powerful, all-knowing, complete in holiness and love, without blemish. I, on the other hand am his adopted child, unwise, misbehaving, dependent on His love, grace and discipline. My place is one of submission. He is the Master.

My relationship with Jesus is both complete and growing. This sounds like another paradox, but it's true. God will never love me more than He loves me now. He is 100% pleased with me because of the atoning sacrifice of Christ for my sin. However, I am growing in my love and knowledge of Him. The Bible talks of knowing God. Paul considers this his highest priority: "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." (Philippians 3:8). Peter describes this as a growing process: "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:18).

Psalm 42:1 says, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, oh God." This verse describes me. My soul longs to be in God's presence. Doesn't yours? This thirst will only receive partial satisfaction this side of Paradise. However, when I get to Heaven, I will experience Him fully, blissfully -- and without the mundane dry spells.